Week 44 – Saboteurs – Tips on how to deal with them!!

Dealing with your diet saboteurs

Often, the people you spend the most time with — your family, friends and colleagues — may create high-risk eating situations for you. This could be an intentional attempt to undermine your weight-loss effort from a jealous friend or sibling, or it could be unintentional because many people don’t understand how difficult it is to eat healthy on a consistent, ongoing basis. To stay focused on your goals, you need to know how to manage negative influences in your social circles. Review these scenarios and make a plan for the next challenge a potential saboteur presents.


Acknowledge their feelings. People who are sabotaging your diet may do so because they feel guilty, do not understand your plight, or miss the “old you”, or due to a combination of these. By understanding where they are coming from, you may be able to empathize with them. This will help you find the right words to make your confrontation a successful one.  Changing your life may prompt other friends and family to feel like they should be doing the same thing, which makes them feel guilty. This can cause them to either consciously or unconsciously sabotage your diet. Ask them to join you.

People who have never dealt with a weight problem simply do not understand how difficult it is to diet and lose weight. Help them see that your weight is a valid struggle and a serious issue.

Others may miss the food experiences you both once enjoyed together, like dessert at restaurants and boutiques. Reassure them that your diet does not change how you feel about them.

Prepare what you will say. Write down what you will say to the person and how you will say it. Remember to use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Once you have written it down, practice your speech in front of a mirror.  Instead of saying, “You are sabotaging my diet and weight loss,” say, “I feel that whenever we hang out, I cannot stick to my diet.”

Keep your speech simple, succinct, and direct.Find a place and time to talk. Don’t confront the person publicly in front of others. Instead, talk with them privately in a comfortable environment. Also, try not to confront them when they are busy, stressed, or angry. If you do, they are less likely to focus on what you’re saying, and more likely to misinterpret your words.  If the saboteur is a colleague, resist the urge to email them instead of talking face-to-face.

Find out when they can sit down and talk, and invite them for a cup of coffee or to your place to address the issue.

If you are dealing with multiple saboteurs, talk with them individually instead of as a group.

Remain calm. Remember to remain calm and assertive. If just thinking about the confrontation incites feelings of anger or remorse, then you are not ready to confront the person. Also, wait until you have filtered out other issues and emotions that are not relevant to the issue at hand

Enlist their support. After you have stated your case, try to find a solution or alternative that will satisfy both of your wants and needs. Let them know how much they mean to you, as well as how much it would mean if you had their full support. For example, “You are my best friend and I want you to help me succeed. This is really hard, so I need your full support. Plus, I think it would be a great way for us to bond and grow our friendship.”

Avoid persistent saboteurs. If the confrontation does not fix the issue, then you may need to avoid this person for a while. You can either reduce your contact with them or eliminate it altogether depending on the issue’s severity. By doing this, they may get the idea that you are serious about your weight loss.  Alternatively, you can choose to just ignore the person whenever they begin to tempt you or make comments about your weight or weight loss. However, this method is recommended for those who have been committed to their diet for a while and feel secure in their diet.


  • You’re not having salad again today, are you?
  • I made it just for you and you’re not having any? Oh, come on.
  • What? You’re not going out for a drink with us? I guess we’ll stop inviting you.
  • You are SO boring when you’re on a diet.
  • I made your favourite dessert and you’re not having any? Don’t be rude.
  • You can have a tiny slice, can’t you?
  • Why can’t today be your “cheat” day?(Said five times a week.)
  • Come on, we’re on vacation. Don’t ruin everyone else’s fun.
  • I wouldn’t give your clothes away just yet.

And what’s likely the most hurtful comment of all…

  • I notice you’re losing weight, and…I didn’t want to say anything. But you look sick.


Across all five BEEWEIGHED meetings this week a total of 143 marbles were lost.  We welcomed new members Vicky and Sue – have a great first week ladies.  We celebrated lots of amazing results and special awards went to the following members:-


  • Big well done to the lovely Corinna – now lost an amazing 8 STONE!!!!!
  • Sharon L, and Rose all got their stone and a half awards – Sharon also got her TERRIFIC TEN %.
  • Julie S got her TERRIFIC TEN!
  • Jacqui got her SUPER SEVEN award.
  • Slimmers of the week went to Zena, Lorraine, Dee, Julie S, Joanna, Heather and Debbie.





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